Introducing the Cutest Baby EVER!

Posted on August 19, 2011 by

Hi all,

Well no time or energy to be too clever today but I had to at least check in.  Our baby girl was born via c section on Friday August 5th.  True to the ultrasound tech and doctor’s hunches she is a big girl, 8 lbs 5 oz and 19″ long.  The first couple weeks have been long between recovering from surgery (a bit rougher than I expected, more on that later), sleep deprivation, figuring out breast feeding… you get the idea!  They have also been filled with more love than I ever could have imagined…  the love I feel for her was so immediate and strong it’s hard to put into words, the love I have felt from family who have been there for us (and taking care of me), the love I have for Tosh… seeing her with our daughter is just amazing.  Now I understand that you just can’t put into words the love that you have for your child, I spend so much time just staring at her it’s almost a little silly.

 

To all that have read and are continuing to read this blog just know that everything you are going through is so worth it.  The emotional highs and lows, the physical pain from injections (and if you are lucky pregnancy) and everything else that comes with this process is all a means to an end that is so beyond worth the journey.

More to come later!

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The End Is Near!!

Posted on July 19, 2011 by

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine…. wait… sorry REM that’s a different end!  The end of my pregnancy is almost here… and I can’t wait!!!!  I’m now 9 months pregnant and thought I’d post before the big day is here.

This has been such a long process that it’s hard to believe that our little girl is almost ready to join us!  It took so long to get pregnant that it felt like getting preggo was the end of the journey, then being pregnant finally sunk in and delivery seemed like the end of the journey… now it’s sinking in that all of that was just the first two steps in a very looong journey!

It’s hard to complain about being pregnant when we tried so hard and shed to many tears getting here…. but I’m going to do it anyways!! My apologies to those who are reading this just wishing to be in my shoes.  Know that someday you will be this pregnant… and will feel the same way!!  The second trimester was great!  I wasn’t nauseous, was showing enough that people should have known I was pregnant, not just chunky and was feeling that pregnancy glow.  Now my feet are swollen up like footballs, my back is killing me, I can’t sleep for more than and hour and a half at night without having to use the bathroom which has left me in a bit of a daze, and that pregnancy glow I’m pretty sure is just perspiration from me being overheated.  Baby girl is still breech (she’s already stubborn) so her head pushes up into my lungs and stomach which contributes to my overall discomfort.  It’s funny when I read how uncomfortable the third trimester is I pretty much poopoo’d it…. bad idea!  With all that said I would do it all again in a heartbeat!

Since she is still breech I am scheduled for a c section on 8/5.  I’ll post thoughts on that later.  It is so crazy to know that we will be holding our baby girl in our arms in two and a half weeks.  It isn’t the “well my due date is, but you never know”… we have a date on a calendar.  Very surreal!

I’ll try to post again before the 5th but no promises.  Wish us luck!!!

Posted in Lesbian IVF Blog, Pregnancy | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Movement!!

Posted on March 12, 2011 by

So let’s go a little old school, back to the very early 90′s high school days with some good old Technotronics….. Move This!  “C’mon move this.  Shake that body, shake that body with me. Baby let me show you how to do this, you’ve gotta move this, you’re doing fine!”

This week I have finally started feeling the little one move, I think she’s starting to get her groove on in there!  It started pretty mildly, I was at my desk and all of a sudden I was like…. “did I just feel something??”  So I sat still and tuned in and sure enough something felt…. well weird in there for lack of a better way to say it.  As the week went on I became more in tune with what I was feeling and started noticing it especially after I have something sugary like juice or yogurt.  I didn’t get the “flutters” everyone describes for me it started feeling more like popcorn popping deep inside…. weird but awesome!  Then this morning I was sitting on the couch with one of our cats on my belly and really got a jolt!  I don’t know if it was the pressure from Maverick being on my belly, the way the baby was positioned, that she is getting bigger or all of the above but it was so strong it startled me!  I can’t wait for it to get stronger, especially so Tosh can feel it.  She cuddles and kisses my belly and talks to the little one already but I know she can’t wait to be able to experience that. 

I’m over 18 weeks now and it feels like time is starting to speed up.  I’m really starting to show and my amazing wife has sewn me maternity pants.  Since I refuse to wear the skinny ass jeans they sell as maternity wear (and can not find anyone who sells lesbian maternity wear) she took my jeans, cut off the top and sewed in the middle of a stretchy shirt…. so much more comfy!!  Before I know it I’m going to be at our baby shower, then out on maternity leave, and then at the hospital.  I’ve started feeling better so hopefully that continues and I can really enjoy this stage of pregnancy.  Our big ultrasound is this Thursday which is our last big milestone for a while.  We can’t wait to get another look at our little monkey!!

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An Announcement and a Couple of Theories on Maternity

Posted on February 21, 2011 by

It’s been a few since I’ve blogged, chalk it up to morning sickness and pregnancy fatigue.  Fortunately I am starting to feel better so hopefully everyone saying that I’ll feel better around month 4 is coming true. 

So first the announcement…. we are having a girl!  We just couldn’t wait until our ultrasound at week 19 so we went to one of the 3d places who will do an ultrasound to determine the sex starting at week 14.  We are soooo happy to be having a girl, it’s amazing to think that in 6 months I will have a daughter!

On to my theories on some common maternity gripes that are typically chalked up to hormones…. sometimes I wonder if they are all truly hormones wreaking havoc on our bodies or if there is some deeper reason to explain why our bodies (and minds) can seemingly turn on us.  First let’s address pregnancy brain….which I’m told later becomes mom’s brain…basically take the capacity of your memory pre pregnancy and remove a third of it.  Now I’m told this is due to hormones and lack of sleep which I suppose could be true.  I wonder however if it could be that my brain power is shifting gears and putting more emphasis on my senses.  This would of course explain my bionic nose…and could also explain mom’s super-hearing and the eyes in the back of her head.  Secondly, every one’s favorite pregnancy symptom…..constipation!  Somewhat embarrassing to discuss but I said when I started this that I would be totally honest.  Now when they first told me to expect this of course I thought, well other women may have an issue with that but surely I won’t since I never have before……wrong!!  Hormones again?  Possibly but what if this is natures way of training those pushing muscles for delivery?  Glass half full?  I think so!  Lastly for today let’s explore first trimester fatigue, I have never been so tired in my life.  Hormones or training, you be the judge!  All of our friends with young children tell us to do nothing but rest and sleep now because we have no idea how tired we soon will be.  That we have no idea what tired really is and that it is amazing how the human body can function on such little sleep.  Maybe pregnancy fatigue isn’t simply hormones at work, it’s natures way of giving us a taste of what is to come.  Training wheels in a sense!

Now realistically I could be wrong.  Maybe all these symptoms are simply the affects of the toxic soup of hormones racing through my body.  I for the moment at least am hoping there is some greater plan to all this that is preparing me for the upcoming adventure of motherhood!

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My Uniboob Is Killing Me!!

Posted on January 25, 2011 by

Yes….you read that right…  Uniboob, monoboob..it’s all the same thing.  For those that aren’t familiar a uniboob is what you get when you wear a sports bra, it takes your girls and makes it look like you have one large breast.  I am not a fan of your regular run of the mill bras, for the last 5 years or so I have worn sports bras exclusively and have been very happy with that choice… until now.  You see my girls have grown.. and then grown…and then grown some more.  They are so large and heavy that when I wear my sports bra my uniboob hangs over the bottom band and pushes on my stomach… my already nauseous, sore, uncomfortable stomach.  As a result I have found myself holding said uniboob up as I sit at my desk, as I drive, as I hang out at home….and I realize that has to stop.  So with that said this weekend I am embarking on one of the most dreaded adventures in my life….bra shopping. 

I don’t know why it makes me so uncomfortable.  I think it’s partially that I’m obviously gay and just feel like people look at me funny when I’m around the lingerie department.  Now not only do I have to slink into that department I think I actually have to break down and ask for help…which I know will include measuring me…awkward!!!!!!  Oh how I wish there was a lesbian maternity shop!!  So wish me luck.  I know in the long run I will feel better and be glad that I sucked it up but for now….I’m dreading the mall.

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Anyone Seen a Log Cabin with a White Roof?

Posted on January 9, 2011 by

Oh how life can be cruel!  I have definitely been dealing with morning sickness, although mine hits worst in the afternoon.  So when something sounds good to eat, I tend to go for it.  Well, I have been having my first bonafide food cravings and there isn’t a darn thing I can do about it!!  When I was growing up much of my family, namely my paternal grandparents lived in Southern California.  This is how I was introduced to Clearman’s Northwoods Inn restaurant.  The Northwoods Inn is a huge log cabin with a white roof (to look like snow) in Covina Ca.  It’s an amazingly cozy, dimly lit steak and seafood place where still to this day you get peanuts on your table and you toss the shells on the floor.  I thought that was the coolest thing when I was a kid.  I have been going there as long as I can remember and as good as the steaks are the absolute best thing on the menu are their two salads and cheese bread.  For some reason I have been craving the salads like you would not believe.  When you splurge and go to the Inn your table is given bottomless bowls of red cabbage salad and blue cheese salad.  I have to say this is the only blue cheese dressing in the world I have ever tasked and liked, and true Northwoods aficionados know the best way to eat it is to actually mix the two salads together.   Now I have looked online and have been able to recreate the red cabbage salad pretty well.  I have been affraid so far to attempt the blue cheese salad although if these cravings keep up I’ll have to give it a shot.  Over the last 4 days I have polished off a ton of this cabbage salad (hey, I could have worse cravings)…but I can’t stop thinking about the dim light of the Inn and how amazing it would be to sit and be served bottomless bowls of salad and cheese bread until I have to be rolled out to the car for a nap!

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Latest Ultrasound

Posted on January 5, 2011 by

We had our 8.5 week ultrasound this Monday.  I’m happy to say all went well!!  Baby C is growing exactly as he/she should and we got to actually hear the heartbeat for the first time which was amazing.  This time it looked more like a baby and less like a stick with a flickering heartbeat.  The head was larger than the body (whichis normal), the heart was amazing to watch and you could actually see the blood moving through the umbilical cord.  Amazing!! I was still pretty nervous going into the ultrasound, I think after over a year of disappointments it still leaves me with the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I know that chances of miscarriage are low, especially after hearing the heartbeat.  Now that we are mostly through the first trimester (9 weeks tomorrow) I’m starting to feel better. 

As promised I will post about the FET process soon, no time today though.  In the mean time here is a link to the video of the ultrasound if you want to take a look!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k6eN41oGAk

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Long Time No See!

Posted on December 31, 2010 by

So let’s kick today’s entry off with a little old school tune by Brenda Lee….  I’m sorry, so sorry…  I know it’s been quite a while since I have posted.  I’ve heard from many of you wondering when I’m going to start blogging again.  So here we go!!

Let’s start with the big news….I am pregnant!!!!!  I hit 8 weeks pregnant yesterday, our next ultrasound is on Monday.  We saw Dr. P the Monday before Christmas and got to see our little one’s heart beat for the first time.  Is that the best Christmas present we could ever get or what?  We only found one sack and heart beat so it’s not twins. If all goes well at Monday’s appointment Dr. P will turn us over to my OBGYN, which will be a huge milestone for us!

I’m still on the progesterone injections as well as prometrium (progesterone) capsules 3 times a day, plus estrogen pills twice a day.  Considering all the hormones I’m pumping in and all the hormones our little one is creating I’m doing amazingly well.  I haven’t been having the mood swings so many women experience…at least not yet.  I do however have very sore…very large breasts.  That was the first symptom that really hit.  When I was on the progesterone after the fresh cycle I was definitely tender but this is a whole different level.  Nausea has started in over the last week, mine usually hits early afternoon.  I’ve learned if I keep food in my system and don’t get too full I feel better.  So I’m eating lots of small meals and snacks throughout the day.  Even so I’ve lost almost 5 pounds this week.  I’m a little worried that may not be good but being overweight to begin with and that it’s still the first trimester I think it’s OK.  Even with the weight loss my waistbands are getting a bit tight.  I found a contraption called the Belly Belt that I think I’m going to order to see if I can get some more time out of my pants. I’ll take any suggestions on how to rig my clothes so I stay out of maternity clothes… I just can’t picture me in typical materninty wear… maybe my million dollar idea could be a maternity line for lesbians. 

I’m off to enjoy my day off for now…which these days means sleeping a good chunk of it.  The fatigue they tell you about in the first trimester is no joke!  I’ll post soon on the FET process.  In the mean time just know that if your IVF cycle isn’t succsessful, FETs can work!

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Manic Monday

Posted on October 25, 2010 by

You got it ladies, time to cue up another intro song… for today the choice is some good old Bangles, Manic Monday!  For the record I really do wish it was Sunday….cause that’s my fun day… OK I’ll stop now.  I didn’t get out of the house in time to take my follow up pregnancy test this morning so I figured no big deal I’ll take it on my lunch break.  Well Monday’s are … well Mondays. So work was nuts but I decided to outsmart the system and take my lunch at 10:45 so I could get ahead of the Kaiser lunch rush…. wow did that not work out.  I waited there for well over an hour just to find out that the RE’s office did not put the test in the computer!!!  So now I have to go back again tomorrow.  I was a little testy with C when I called the office but I think that was totally called for and not chalked up to hormones!  On the bright side I feel good about the test, I think everything will be fine.  Hopefully I am back to baseline and won’t have to take anymore.

In other news I’m doing fine on the Lupron, haven’t had any hot flashes or bad headaches in a while.  I started getting sick this weekend (I kept telling Tosh to cover her mouth when she coughed!!) but I seem to be fighting it off pretty well so far.  I’m finally off the BCP (wooohoooo!!!) and Aunt Flo showed up today so all is going according to plan!!  Next appointment is Friday to do a check under the hood before starting Estrogen!  Until then hopefully my Monday gets better!

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Roseanne

Posted on October 22, 2010 by

Today is my last birth control pill, I think we are going to have a party tonight to celebrate me regaining my sanity!  I don’t know if anyone has ever seen the episode of Roseanne titled, “PMS” but it is one of my all time favorites.  I always loved Roseanne growing up (and still watch the re-runs), it was a less idyllic, more realistic family sitcom where even though they didn’t have a lot you always knew they loved each other and were in it together.  Well in a nutshell the PMS episode was pretty much about Roseanne’s over the top PMS and how everyone tried to clear out for the day to escape her wrath.  Now I don’t think I’ve been that bad, but there may be some parallels.  So for the last time for a long time (hopefully ever) I will take a BCP today and chuck the rest of the package….maybe I should burn it for extra emphasis!

In other news the ladies who said every cycle is different were definitely right.  The Lupron hasn’t been giving me constant headaches this time, a little one here and there but nothing too bad which is awesome.  What it is giving me is terrible insomnia though.  Almost every day this week I’ve been awake at 2am so I finally broke down and emailed nurse L yesterday.  I got the thumbs up to try Tylenol PM which actually helped so I am feeling lots better today.  Now I just need to get some extra sleep this weekend and I should be back on track!

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